Life and your unknown journey through it

There are times where nothing seems right and your just going through the motions in life. These are the times where a person needs to look at all they are doing and try to figure out what is and isn’t important. I have been stuck in one of these times for a while now.

Me and my wife’s lives have gotten so busy lately that we started to seem like just two people living in the same house. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that were going on…… I turned into a zombie for the most part. Every thought was is she doing this or that and then I finally realized the problem was me. Many problems that happen in relationships are started by one person. That person usually doesn’t notice it till its too late. Well I realized that I was neglecting my family in hopes to build my business. My new look on life is that God will guide me in the path he has created for me…..I just need to ask for his help and guidance. My business on the other hand if somone won’t wait for me because I’m having family time then they can find someone else.

The things we care about most in life seem to be the first things that we hurt  with our decisions. This brings me to my next point. I used to drink quite a bit and haven’t for 8 years, mainly due to bad experiances and tragic events involving alcohol. So I haven’t been a fan of people drinking, especially my wife. She doesn’t drink much and I know I can trust her when she does, but when shes out without me I go nuts. I can’t help it I’ve tried not to think about it. I keep thinking that somthings going to happen to her. I feel that this shows even more how much I care but I know she is annoyed with me when I do it and feels like I don’t trust her. What can I do??? I feel that alcohol is the only thing that tries to pull us apart. Is it wrong of me to ask her to quit drinking??  Should it be a big deal for her to quit?? Looking for any advise………..

Disconnected

Have you ever had it where everything is going just fine in your life. Nothing is blowing up on you or falling apart? Its an odd feeling, especially for a carpenter. In the middle of this Zen like feeling I’m at a state of discontent. I feel that I am disconnected from everything around me. I’m not sure if its all the things that I’m thinking about or what. I fell as if I’m not even in the room part of the time.

I love my life and how everything is going I just don’t know what to do to try to connect the pieces of my life. My work time is crowded and overflowing. My family time is great but takes out the time to unwind at the end of a day and relax. Then there is no time left for me or for going out with the guys. I feel that this is the cause of this disconnection. Side note this is all popping in my head as I’m typing.

I work six days a week five days I am gone from 6-6:30 until 6:30-7. Then I eat and play with my daughter until 9-9:30, then put her to bed. Then its cuddle time with my wife. If I’m lucky I snag a little time like now to jump on the computer. Then its off to bed to do it again. My sixth work day for the week is my business which used to be a little job here or there. Now its grown into a great business that I could be busy with full time until like July. So I cram as much work into my Saturday as I can. I need to make progress by leaps with only one day a week.

This leaves me with not time to just do something for myself. I used to go to the races with a friend and that was my serenity. He now races Wednesday nights which kills the chances of me going. The races was what I did each night I’d wrench on the car. Then Saturday all morning we would get the finishing touches done and race that night. It was my life. This all ended when I found the woman of my dreams and married her. I went racing less and less. Now I work and work, not to get away but to further us. I don’t know what to do. I need to keep up with family, growing business, and try to have a good social life. I want to know how others juggle situations like this.

Music to my Legs???

Its amazing the influence that music has on a person. It can change your mood and seems to set your style. I’m not sure if its just me but it changes my pace too.

When I’m working I love to crank the music up. I want it so loud that I can’t hear myself think. When I get in this “zone” nothing stands in my way. Production jumps about 70%. This is a well known trick that I use as often as possible.

This is why I love technology. I have a Microsoft Zune 120GB MP3 player so I never need to get rid of music. My Blackberry also has an MP3 player built in. Technology has made it easier for me to rock as loud as I want. A lot of my music isn’t quite something the neighbors want to hear. Especially cranked to 11 (Spinal Tap reference) most wouldn’t want to hear it at all.

So if music moves you like it does me I want to hear it. Put your head phones on a turn it up. Pull your laptop out and type away.

Snow and blows

Snow blows. Literally and it just sucks. I have been home two days now because of the snow. I haven’t gotten much accomplished in terms of work. I have spent plenty of time curled up with my little girl. This make the days not so bad. She keeps trying to be my little helper. I’m switching out my ceiling tiles and lights. She keeps climbing the ladder or stealing my tape measure. I love my girly but hate the snow. So to sum it up SNOW BLOWS.

Inspired

These last few days I have been inspired to write a lot. The problem is that I have been toooooooooo busy to write.

I think of many things to write about while working, but then I can’t remember them when I have time to jot them down. This is even with the WordPress app on my phone. This has actually affected me more than I had expected.

This new-found need to write is odd for me. If only this could have come about when I was in school. My papers always lacked length, as they always came in at just the required number of words. Now I am cranking out words left and right.

The hardest part of writing was coming up with a subject that I felt comfortable writing about. This is an obstacle that has been defeated by age. Now it doesn’t matter to me if people know about me. Then it was more what do I want them to know. Also these writings can be some what incoherent babbling.

 I always thought that If I was going to write that it had to be something. Not a little blurb like this. I felt you needed a page or so, that way there was some substance to it.

I shall be writing more. Hopefully have time to put it down.

Immoral

Immorality, it’s a problem that’s been plaguing America for years. Lately it seems like there are no people with morals anywhere. You listen to the news and hear about shootings and robberies. Then you watch politics and they seem even more corrupt than ever. I am starting to lose my faith in this “great” country.

For example, in the generally mundane and patently boring place that I live, there have been many immoral acts lately. I am not one to preach but this is getting ridiculous. There are eight families, that I know of personally, who have been torn apart as a result of cheating. That means eight more divorces in Iowa. One of the couples had been married for almost 20 years. Three others were married anywhere from eight to twelve years. The other four I’m not entirely sure how long they were married, but the point is they were married. I feel that this is utterly unimaginable. I have been married for almost five years now and can’t imagine being with anyone else.

The kicker in these situations is that the cheaters feel they truly did nothing wrong. They won’t take the blame for ruining the marriages. All of the families have children that will now have to meet new people and adjust to them as their “new family.” In total, there are (give-or-take) 23 children between these families. This is what makes it so hard to stomach. Each family already has one parent trying to turn the children against the other parent for personal gain. The worst part of writing this is that I keep remembering more couple that have recently been split as a result of cheating. I started with two sets of families and at this point I’m up to eight families that have been divided.

I may not be the most moral person, but when I look around and listen to everything going on right now, I look pretty good. This is coming from the guy who was “Mr. Immoral” in high school. Many people, most of whom I haven’t talked to since high school, would probably think that I am still the same guy. I’m not. Not by a long shot, but it is hard to change a person’s mindset on who you are – as opposed to who you were – when you’ve changed for the better. When you do something bad, however, it changes in a heartbeat.

I feel that we, as a people, need to change the direction this country is headed. All I see is bad, worse, and worst. I challenge all of you (even if it is only one or two people) to make a change. We have to try to correct this mess of a country that we all live in. I want my daughter or daughters (not sure if new baby is boy or girl yet) to grow up in a place where you can trust people. Where your children are safe and so are you. Where you don’t need to wonder what your wife or husband or girlfriend or boyfriend is doing. Where your wedding vows mean something other than “I get half of everything you have” or “you get to pay me to do nothing.”

I AM SICK OF THIS.

I know many may not like this post, but I’m venting. I will probably post many topics like this. Anger management and venting is one major goal of my blogging. Along with just telling my stories. Stay tuned for the “Blown Cellulose Chronicles” starting soon. This will be writings about the job sites, the people, and the general crap I put up with each day as I work insulating.

Workaholic…

This word has been used very often to describe me. My parents say it, my in-laws say it, and my wife definitely says that I’m a workaholic. I’m positive it’s the first word she uses when telling someone about me. It makes a guy wonder if it’s a good thing or a bad thing to be given such a label. I feel that your job, and how you are devoted to it, show more about who you are than your other daily actions do. If a person works hard day in and day out it shows they love or enjoy what they do. Seeing the pleasure that a person gets out of fulfilling a dream or goal is priceless. Personally, the more I work, the happier I am. This doesn’t mean that I’m not happy when not working. Right now while writing this I am having my daddy daughter night and couldn’t be happier.

The idea of happiness at work seems to be an oddity to many people. They show up just in time in the morning and run to the door at lunch. They struggle to drag themselves back in for the last half of the day. Then they just count down the minutes till the five-o-clock whistle. It takes two afternoons worth of work in the typical work environment to equal the productivity that one typical morning produces. A person who loves their job or at least enjoys it and has a passion for it has steady production all day.

This is where I reach out to all the people who dislike their job. QUIT!!!! If you don’t like what you’re doing you are not only cheating yourself but your employer and everyone around you. Your family will suffer because you won’t have true happiness no matter what you think. Yes, having a well-paying job is nice, but like everyone says “money can’t buy happiness.” I have some very nice things and I appreciate them because I worked hard for them. Every moment I get with my family I make the most of. These moments come and go way too quickly. You never know when your family will be taken from you. One day you could get a call to hear that a good friend has cancer; that in their scans they look like a Dalmatian with all the cancer spots. These are the reasons that I never get a break about working so much.

I work from seven to five, five days a week. Saturdays I work from when my babysitter shows up till whenever I stop. Sundays are my day off, to spend with family. With our work we go just about anywhere so I leave home at six-thirty and usually don’t get home till six-thirty. When I am home at night I play with my daughter and sit and talk with my wife. If I have time and they don’t mind I work on our house. Does this make me a workaholic? Or just a guy that wants to get something done in a day? What is so wrong with making as much progress as you can? There are only so many hours in a day and I intend to use as many as I can to get done what I need to.

This work ethic was installed in me at a young age. My father is a great man, I give him a lot of shit but I really look up to him. He had all three of us boys by the time he was my age. He worked a normal nine to five and took care of hogs during his free time to earn extra cash. At one point he had pigs at three different places. From the time I was deemed old enough, I was his ride along buddy right there on the passenger seat. These are memories that I’ll never forget. He would work from sun-up to sun-down. He did anything he had to do put food on the table (which took a lot) and clothes on our backs. If he had a little extra money he would improve something. This is a virtue that I have kept with me a tried to help other people understand. Do what you can, Rome wasn’t built in a day, your house can be redone one window at a time. Every little bit will help and get you that much closer. I work with my dad every day this has created a bond I wouldn’t trade for millions of dollars.

I started working full-time during the summer when I was twelve. I fell in love with hard work, it sounds odd I know. With this job I quit playing baseball, I love baseball, but work came first. My brother on the other hand loves baseball more than anything. Instead of working construction he worked making pizza. The pay wasn’t nearly as good. I didn’t understand back then why he would choose to work there and make less. Now I see that with that job it gave him the time to do things that he loved and he didn’t care for construction. When I realized this I gained a new respect for my brother.

Every person has the potential to do something they care about. The hard part is having the drive to do it. Many people still criticize me for quitting college after one year. I was 3.0 and hardly there. It just wasn’t for me. They all say you had potential to do so much could have done something more. Is what I do not good enough?? Is being a carpenter/electrician/plumber/landscapers/etc. not enough? This is why I let my wife choose what she wanted to do. I wanted her to have the same happiness that I have with my job.

With all of this is it bad to be a workaholic??